The Adventurer's Shoppe


The UnOfficial Adventurer's Guide to Survival
If you are determined to lead the life of a professional adventurer, as opposed to having no particular problems surviving your current way of life, there are a number of things you need to know -and the sooner you learn, the longer you may live.
First of all, never forget that there is no such thing as 'fair play' in adventuring. No dragon have ever halted mid-blast to inquire if you've had enough and will leave it the heck alone henceforth.
Nope. If anything, it will add another blast and then follow through with an impromptu tapdance over your remains to make absolutely Sure it will be left the heck alone henceforth!
Which brings us smoothly into the domain of honourable behaviour.
It's Not honourable to rob your fellow adventurers and sneak off into the night with all the loot. No one will trust you after that!
So the first rule about honorable behaviour is -of course- to make sure camp is made in an area with scavengers, kill the sleeping adventurers (sleep potions are not that expensive) and Then you can sneak off into the night with all the loot -and get some much deserved attention from the barmaid when you tell the saga of your valiant but tragically unsuccessful single-handed defence of your wounded friends.

So, walking out to meet adventure head-on, what should you equip yourself with?
Weapons is a good start, preferrably a type that you have practised with enough to consider yourself skilled in.
Otherwise you should stop having this read to you (No true adventurer have the time to waste on learning to read) Now and go practise.
And for Furgh's sake, learn a second weapon as well! There just aren't a bunch of 'Otto's Used Weaponry' shops scattered through the world. Especially not in the areas where adventurers go to find loot.
Armor is another item you will have to get your hands on.
If either of your weapon types is bow, simply find an unsuspecting provider -as close to your size as possible, you may have to lie hidden for a while- and get some target practise. Be careful not to damage the armor, that kind of defeats the purpose of this excursion.
If you don't have any skill with a bow, stop having this read to you, and go get some. The chances that you (unarmored) should be able to fight and defeat someone else (in armor) in close combat are almost none at this point in your career.
Now that you have both weapons and armor, you need to find food. You also need to make sure that you are really equipped for the upcoming task; No one run fast in plate!
Farmers are lowly people who spend their entire lives working long days filled with hard repetitive labour. They are also very capable with a pitchfork, so make sure you know where the farmers are and which way your escape route goes.
Don't let the two intercept!

You are now well provided with weapons, armor, and food. Or you are dead. pick one.
The life of an adventurer is said to be hard and seldom rewarding. That saying may be true when applied to the adventurer-wannabies, but for the rest of us, it's a long row of adventures intermixed with countless heaps of loot and (every now and then) Countless Countesses to be swooned with your tales of bravery! And the death rate is the same for us as for everyone else -1 death per adventurer.

Since you're starting out your life as an adventurer, the time has come to find somewhere to loot.
A map is as good a tool as any for this. If the map is attached to another adventurer this is a good thing. The other adventurer may not have your skill in preparing his/her career (i.e have not read this instruction sheet) and so is the perfect partner. You will have a companion who will take watches when you sleep, help foraging, defeat any guardians/traps that are placed between you and your loot -and may have the medical equipment your pea-sized excuse for a brain haven't even noticed was not in the equipment list...
Keep in mind that a worthy loot is heavy and cumbersome to drag back to populated areas on your own, so always make sure you know which road passes through the scavengers hunting grounds on your way back. This may necessitate 'being lost' for a day to get populated areas and scavengers properly aligned.

And with fresh loot in your pack, a good tale on your tongue -and the scars to prove both, it's time to actually approach the bar.
If you're too young to be allowed in the bar, stop having this read to you and go to bed early for being stupid.
Any beverage that passes from the bartender, over the counter, and into your hands, somehow collect a certain amount of water in the process. Live with it.
In the bar, only one rule exist; What's yours is yours only as long as you can defend it.
Some people argue that you should be able to drink as much as you want without risking being robbed/pressganged/whatever. These are good victims, as they already have expressed their inability to defend what's rightfully yours.
Loot is found in all kinds of places.

Surviving other adventurers is a skilled occupation best left to the experts.
If you're lucky enough, and never let your guard down, you may live long enough to be one of us.
Meanwhile, did you see the sun glint off that drawn arrow behind you?

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